Posts Tagged ‘sex’

Wedded Bliss

January 21st, 2010

Been together for a long time?Yep,so long you’ve given up trying to change your other half.Well,that’s not good for marital bliss.

Whatever we can do as the years roll by,we shouldn’t ever give up on our partners.Even after all this time,your husband will still be easy to change – no,not for a new one!

Okay,there are some things that five years into your marriage you think:”Well.those things will never change now.”And fifteen years in,you’re thinking:”My fault – I shouldn’t have accepted that in the first place.”Think again because that’s notso.A great marriage needs regular reinvention to keep it freshcand keeping on sorting out these kinds of issues does exactly that.Regular influencing is a great way to a healthy marriage.

The thing you’ve got to get out of your mind is that because it has been like this for a long time (and that’s a relative term,of course:t doesn’t really matter whether we are talking five,ten or fifteen years,or even longer),it’s therefore fixed;it’s stuck and you’re doomed to put with it.’Long time’ does not equal ‘can’t change’.Individuals change all the time.It’s certain you’ve changed a lot over the past ten years,so why can’t two people agree to make combined changes after all this time?They can.

Firstly,give a bit of thought to the change we really want: what do we really need to influence?Is it actually that he reads the newspaper ar the breakfast table or that you never seem to talk any more?Is it actually thatshe’s always out at various committee meetings or that it seems impossible to go out to a film or the theatre like you used to?So trace back the symptoms to the cause.Remember that many areas that require influencing revolve around money or sex (or both) but they are usually the symptom not the cause.

Here’s the big idea:keep talking.Once you have identified the real issue (e.g. not planning for retirement) and not been distracted by symptoms (e.g. money arguments),then you need to talk it through and agree a plan.That can only happen if you have time to talk.Whatever happens:keep talking.Never ever lose ‘the thing’ hat keeps you talking .And don’t just talk about the shopping or kids school reports:talk about you – fundamental stuff – in a non-rushed environment.We can’ t tell you how or when but we are betting you are intelligent enough to do that.So make it happen.

It;s all about maintaining the emotional bank account.We all have one,just like our financial bank account.We have them with each other.The question is,are we making loads of deposits into the account (by being polite,being responsive,being helpful,being loyal) or are we making undue numbers of withdrawals (by being judgemental,rude,talking behind their backs)?

If we are making plenty of deposits,the relationship can take the occasional with withdrawals.But if it’s been all withdrawals,the occasional deposit has little impact.Makes sense,doesn’t it?

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Posted in Self Improvement, Wedding Bliss

Tags: Healthy marriage money sex

Mens’ Health: Viagra wonders?

June 9th, 2009

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It has been 10 years since a blue pill containing sildenafil citrate triggered off a revolution in the bedroom. But, was it really a boon or has it simply opened another Pandora’s Box?

They say that love is the answer, but only if you’re ready for the right question. Until then, it is sex that otherwise raises some pretty interesting questions. This is especially so for medical professionals over the years – where looking after the ill and to make them better was our sole aim. Then came Viagra, which changed the medical landscape in a staggering manner. It was a cure that was charged with controversy because by treating the underlying ailment, it also meant a tremendous lifestyle change fraught with moral implications.

Erectile Dysfunction (ED) is an even more outrageous subject. Even in Western society, this has always been a skeleton hidden in the very back of the closet for a lot of men. Who can bring themselves to admit that they have a problem with their manhood?

Erectile dysfunction as its name suggests is the inability to develop or maintain an erection sufficient for satisfactory sexual achievement. Causes range from mild cardiovascular disease and diabetes, neurological problems, hormonal insufficiencies such as hypogonadism and drug side effects.

However, there are also significant studies that prove psychological and relational issues also directly contribute to erectile dysfunction. Psychological impotence happens when an erection or penetration fails due to emotional issues rather than physical impossibilities.

Accidental pill

Known as the accidental pill, Viagra or sildenafil citrate was discovered by a group of chemists at Pfizer, an American pharmaceutical giant. Initial research was to find a treatment for hypertension ( high blood pressure ) and angina pectoris ( severe chest pain or heart disease ).

However, the end result was this little blue pill which was found to bring about a rather happy side effect instead; creating mile penile erections.

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Realizing the potential of such a drug, the pill was launched as an answer for erectile dysfunction and not angina. The drug was patented in 1996 and approved for administration later in 1998. And so, Viagra became the first oral treatment approved to treat erectile dysfunction.

Since then, Viagra has become such a phenomenon that its brand name is the second most recognizable name worldwide, after the drink Coca Cola. Globally, six tablets of this little blue pill are prescribed every minute. It’s everywhere! People want it, and perhaps, people do need it.

Viagra and drugs similar to it, for example Cialis and Levitra, may be prescription drugs but the availability and convenience of the cyber-world has made it available to basically every person alive.

Facts and myths

But seriously, do pills really work? Abuse comes when there’s misuse, so let’s look at the facts and fiction behind this potent pill.

· Viagra for ED and not just D ( Desire )

Viagra works to correct and assist in erections. It is not recreational drug, nor a party drug. Whatever one may want to call it, Viagra is, in very layman terms, medication. So, please treat it as such.

· Viagra was, is and will never be, an immortality pill

For those who think that it’s a fountain of youth, delude yourself no more. Viagra will not make a person 21 again. If you’re a normal 45-year old man, and you can attain an erection and have intercourse without any chemical aid, there’s no reason to take this pill. Please don’t confuse this medication with aphrodisiacs. It is not a magic wand, magic seed or magic pill.

· Viagra is no Energizer bunny

An instant erection after taking Viagra does not happen. The drug allows an erection to result following stimulation. No sexual stimulation equals no erection. Plus, Viagra also does not leave a person with an erection that does not go away. Once ejaculation occurs, the person goes back to his intended state of balance.

· Viagra is not addictive

Just as a person shouldn’t be addicted to paracetamol, you shouldn’t be addicted to Viagra. Some people who have been addicted to the results of Viagra have confused the addiction. But, let me stress that under no circumstances does Viagra cause a ‘natural’ addiction unless it’s self-induced.

Physical effect

Scientifically, sildenafil citrate works to release a certain amount of nitric oxide in the corpus area of the penis. This in turn results in an increased level of cyclic guanosine monophosphate which leads to a relaxation of the muscle, increase inflow of blood and erection of the penis.

Most importantly, sildenafil acts a competitive binding agent of PDE5 in the corpus cavernosum, resulting in more cyclic guanosine monophosphate and better erections. Medical terms aside, sexual stimulation remains an important part in the achievement of true satisfaction.

Still, Viagra has also been found to be effective in treating cases of the rare disease pulmonary arterial hypertension. The pill will acts to relax the arterial resistance and pressure, which reduces the workload and pressure of the right ventricle of the heart – ultimately improving symptoms of right-sided heart failure.

On a lighter and not quite related note, the little blue pill has also been known to prevent flowers from wilting. So yes, pop a tablet in that vase of roses and you’ll see the flowers lasting longer.

Side effects of sildenafil include reports of headache, flushing, dyspepsia, nasal congestion and impaired vision including photophobia and blurred vision. Some users have also complained of a blue tinge in vision, blurriness and loss of peripheral vision.

While certain conservative group are constantly pointing out the social and cultural implications of this drug, it remains a fact that Viagra is already the success it is today. Taken appropriately, Viagra is certain to bring about much improvements and enjoyment in the bedroom.

As with all drugs and even decisions in life, there are both sides to the coin. So, despite the rants of opposition groups, Viagra, in the hearts of pharmaceutical chemists and doctors alike, was never meant to delude or destroy, but to recreate that spark that might have been lost so long in the bedroom.

Ouch....

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Posted in Mens' Health

Tags: ejaculation erections penis satisfy sex viagra

Mark the G-spot for greater sex life!

June 8th, 2009

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Sexuality is an important part of a woman’s health. There’s absolutely nothing wrong or abnormal about women who like being stimulated by, or who reach orgasm by stimulation of the G-spot. Some women have actually experienced their first orgasm by stimulation of the G-spot. It’s actually good if reading this might help those women who enjoy this type of stimulation and the resulting orgasms with or without the ejaculating of fluid to feel good about themselves and enjoy what they are experiencing.

Many women have reported feeling abnormal because they liked this kind of stimulation or because they expelled a fluid with sexual stimulation. In fact, some women in the past learned to hold back the fluid and not have an orgasm to avoid the embarassment of being what they considered abnormal.

Social mores

Being aware of anxieties about orgasm and stimulation could well contribute enormously towards a better experience for both partners. To someone with a conservative attitude, or perhaps even a fear of sex or certain sexual practices – be it because of cultural or even religious reasons – this sound advice should be stimulus enough to shed those inhibitions and let loose in the bedroom.

The G-spot does not lie on the vaginal wall itself, but can be felt through it. It is usually felt about half way back between the pubic bone and the cervix and feels like a small lump that swells as it is stimulated. The Grafenberg spot or G-spot is a female erogenous zone, which when stimulated can lead to high levels of sexual arousal and powerful orgasms. It is located about one to three inches inside the vagina, on the anterior wall. This area was named after Dr Ernst Grafenberg who wrote about it in 1950.

Female Genitalia

When it is first touched, many women feel the need to urinate even though their bladders may have just been emptied. However, within two to 10 seconds of massage, the initial reaction is replaced in some women by a strong and distinctive feeling of sexual pleasure.

The G-spot

Some women report multiple orgasms from this type of stimulation, possibly even accompanied by an expulsion of fluid. The fluid that is sometimes expelled looks like ‘watered down fat-free milk’ – it does not smell, taste or stain like urine and its chemical composition is different from urine.

Euphoria

Women have reported that they have difficulty finding and stimulating their G-spot by themselves (except with a dildo, a G-spot vibrator or similar device) but they have no problem identifying the erotic sensation when the area is stimulated by a partner.

Dildo...another gal's BFF

The problem with trying to locate the Grafenberg spot by yourself is that you need very long fingers and /or a short vagina to reach the area while lying on your back. Having located your G-spots, women should experiment with them. They need to use a heavier pressure than they do on the clitoris and they may feel the sensations deeper inside than when they do with clitoral stimulation.

After having explored your G-spot yourself, you might want to share the experience with your partner. It can be stimulated by the partner’s fingers (with a “come here” type of motion, a dildo or a penis. The position most likely to lead to a stimulation with a penis is with the woman sitting on top of the male.

More than just sex

Having said that, there is more to a sexual encounter or experience than just achieving orgasm; which isn’t the be all and end all of good sexual intercourse. By this, people may either be goal or pleasure-directed. Males are usually the former while females are typically the latter.

People who are goal-directed will look only to achieving orgasm, instead of looking at all the other responses or experiences while getting there; such as touching, kissing, caressing and the like. Pleasure-oriented people will look at the pleasurable experiences and responses in the sexual act rather than just orgasm alone. Not everything has to be about orgasm alone. Kissing, holding and touching each other can also be good.

If both partners are of different orientations, it could be a problem that they must discuss with each other. Intimacy, bonding and respecting each other are important but women must also be knowledgeable about the ways and things that they find pleasurable.

Communication is very important to enhance the sexual experience. Pleasure and satisfaction are so much more important than orgasm. The focus should not only be on the goals but rather on the process of sexual gratification. Sexual intercourse is not the only way to feel sexually satisfied. People who feel comfortable seems to be happier, more self-assured and live longer.

Sexuality and life

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Sexuality is an important aspect of a woman’s health. Female sexuality encompasses a broad range of issues, behavior and processes including female sexual identity and sexual behavior, the physiological, psychological, social, cultural, political and even spiritual or religious aspects of sex.

All people are sexual beings from birth to death. The Planned Parenthood Federation of America says sexuality must be understood as an essential, lifelong aspect of being human and should be celebrated with respect, openness and mutuality.

Lotsa love,