The mum-to-be may be the center of attention at the moment, but that doesn’t mean that the expectant dad doesn’t have an important role, too. Everybody is fussing over your pregnant wife and you’re probably feeling somewhat redundant. It’s your baby too and you’re probably also experiencing apprehension about the future as well as excitement about the child on its way.
Your wife will be feeling a mixture of emotions right now and will need your support more than ever. Talk to each other about your concerns because you’re in this together. There are also a number of practical ways you can help make her pregnancy easier and she’ll love you even more for your thoughtfulness.
EASE HER DISCOMFORT
During the first few months, your wife may experience nausea, mood swings, tiredness and a loss of appetite. Here are some things you can do to help:
- Place a bucket or plastic bags conveniently near the bed every night, in case she does need to vomit.
- Get her something light to eat in the morning even if she has no appetite.
- If she feels uncomfortable or unwell, ease her into an armchair, place a fluffy pillow behind her back and give her swollen tired feet a gentle relaxing massage.
- Help around the house where possible especially with the heavier and more tiring chores. You could also offer to shop for the groceries on your way home from work.
- Consider hiring a part-time help for the domestic chores.
- Indulge her demands or cravings for certain food even at odd hours.
Pregnancy makes a woman feel more vulnerable and sensitive, given all the hormonal changes going on. She may feel bloated and ungainly and the slightest insensitivity can lead to a flood of tears. You will need to be extra supportive during these times. Find out how she feels and listen attentively to her complaints and worries. The ultimate aim is to make her feel loved and wanted, and not like an over-emotional nag.
Accompany her to her regular check-ups with the gynaecologist. If she needs to have amniocentesis or other procedures and tests done, she will feel more confident and assured if you are present. You will also get the chance to speak to the doctor personally and share the joy of tracking your bab’s foetal development. You can set yourself up as your wife’s right-hand man and answer the doctor’s questions where necessary.
Talking to the unborn child is not a task only for the mother. Dads can share in the joy of this too and enjoy the feel of the baby kicking inside the womb.There are many to make like naming the baby, decorating the nursery, buying the items to fill it with and many more. Make these decisions together because the child is yours too. Shopping trips will be more meaningful and fun if you do them together with your wife. You may also want to discuss birth and pain relief options too.
Nutrition is very important during pregnancy and rather than just encouraging her to eat properly, it would be easier if both of you adopt a healthy diet together. Abstain from alcohol if possible; if you can’t, try not to drink in your wife’s presence if you know she’d normally like to drink. If you smoke, try not to do this in front of her for this is bad for both,your wife and the unborn baby. Take note of any medication that your wife has been prescribed and ask the doctor what it is for and what the side effects are if any.
Given all the changes taking place in her body, your wife may not be in the mood for sex at the moment. Try to understand what she is going through and be considerate. Do not treat this as a rejection and react with frustration – this will only add to the burden of emotional and physical changes that she is already experiencing. If you are really feeling sexually restricted, have a frank talk with your wife. You might be surprised that your wife may have wanted sex but wasn’t sure if you did too. On the other hand, if you feel a decreased sexual desire due to your wife’s growing belly and leaking breasts; be sensitive about it with her and show your love and affection in other ways such as a kiss and a cuddle.
Familiarize yourself with the signs of labor and understand the different phases. Watch videos of birthing to gain a better understanding of what is to come. If you are driving to the hospital, explore the various possible routes to find out the shortest one. Don’t wait till the last minute because your wife will not be in the best position to navigate!
Be ready to help your wife through labor and delivery. Most hospitals allow fathers to be present during the birth, but some have restrictions if it is going to be a C-section or a procedure done in emergency situation. Be ready to hug her and help her relax, either through massage or talk. You may also need to remind her to breathe through her contractions. Although you cannot share her pain and difficulties, you will already be providing her with a lot of emotional support by simply being there.
