Our reactions determine our future so, here’s why we should stand back, analyse and act wisely.
Here are three scenarios to conside:
- Mr A is driving to work one morning, happily whistling to his favorite tune that is playing on the car stereo. Suddenly, a car tears down the lane on his left, catching Mr A by surprise. Had Mr A switched lanes, the inconsiderate driver would have banged into his acr and caused a major road accident. Mr A feels his adrenaline pumping and his blood gushing to his heart. He feels himself getting angrier by the second and before he knows it, he is swaering at the driver.
- Mrs B has not exactly had a good day at work and just as she enters her home, her husband tells her that his mother will be staying at the weekend. Without much thought, Mrs B ahouts at her husband and says things that carry serious implications.
In both scenarios, we can see a clear reaction, all of which would cause more harm than good. In scenario one, the driver still needs to continue his journey to work, but with residual anger and frustration. And in scenario two, the wife still needs to bear with her mother-in-law and deal with the consequences of the things she had said to her husband.
We always have the option to decide the way in which we react to respond no matter how stressful the situation, even though it may not always seem that way. There will be times when we have no control over the circumstances and the external environment we live in but the way we react is a privilage to those who choose to analyse and be objective.
People react for safety and survival reasons. For example, those who have had their bags snatched by a motorcyclists while walking on the streets will for a long time, react to the sound of a motorbike behind them. This is because the experience is permenantly etched in our subconscious, causing us to react every time we encounter a sound or situation that reminds us of that awful day. The nasty memory will trigger your leg muscles to move, almost on impulse, to the side of the road to ensure safety.
This is known as impulsive reaction, which requires almost no time in analysiing the situation or surrounding. This is how animals live by their instincts and impulses. However, as human beings that have the gift of the mind, we can be analytical, rather than impulse and view life objectively. Having said that , impulsive reactions are useful in certain situations so we can escape from immediate dangers.
In reference to the above situations, perhaps it is better to react using the following thought processes:
Yes, the car has passed. Perhaps he is in a hurry. Maybe I should jot down his license plate and inform the police. But I will not allow an irresponsible person to affect my mood or health.”
So, my mother-in-law is coming and no doubt she will annoy me. But I am younger and maybe better than her, and I posses patience. In fact, I will use her visit to test my patience and endurance.”
In order to condition our minds to react positively and objectively, we need to be patient. Just as one visit to the gyms is not sufficient to build muscles and achieve the desired weight, our minds, too, need time to develop.
A mind that continues to search for objectivity in every activity and shifts its focus from output to outcomes will be more effective. By doing so, we learn to control our emotions and determine our future. To constantly be on a reactive mode victimizes everyone, including oneself. Not only will your emotions and thoughts be affected, your attitude will also manifest itself into physical aches and lifestyle illnesses, such as hypertension and diabetes. This is backed by numerous research, providing the link between body and mind.
Controlling your mind comes from understanding one simple truth – your life is in your hands. The individual who feels like a victim, and insist on being a victim, will scream ‘NO’ and insist that he or she has no power. But if one is bold and daring, he will turn his anger and frustrations into something positive.
The symptoms of a reactive person include:
- Jumpa to conclusion
- Argues uncontrollably
- Has mood swings or wavering moods
- Expresses emotional fluctuations
- Disturbed sleeping patterns
- Feels envy and jealous easily
So next time you’re in a difficult position, stand back and watch. Watch your emotions, actions and declare, ” I feel angry but I will not be swept away by it.”
