Words are great,but your fingers can reach places language never can.Here’s our eulogy to non-verbal communication and tactile tantalisation.

We crave touch.The warmth and affection of another human being is a reward in itself.We all need strokes,emotional and physical.When did your last reach out and touch the person you love?

Let your fingers do the talking

The first touching is a sensual conversation.When you next touch your partner,wait for a reply before touching further.So if you stroke her cheek,wait until she squeezes your arm before running your finger over her eyebrows.Between people who are attracted to each other,just brushing fingertips can send shock waves.Try making little circles with your fingertips on your partner’s palm or inner elbow,or the nape of his neck.Do this at mundane times,like waiting for a bus or in the supermarket check-out queue.Then next time your partner is waiting for a bus wihout you,he’ll realise that it’s just not as much fun as when you’re there.A cunning piece of prestidigitation.

Hugs

We use hugs to express lots of things,like ‘hello’,'i’m sorry’ and ‘i hope you feel better ‘.Other hugs are good for comforting or making your partner feel warm.Theraphist and relationship guru Virginia Satir believes we all need four hugs a day for survival,eight hugs a day for maintenance and twelve hugs a day for growth.There are three types of hug,but only one hug hits the spot.

The quickie

A quick grab and let go,which may be punctuated by a couple of air kisses and mwah,mwah noises.This hug’s for theatrical luvvies.

The A-frame

Huggers interlock arms and may tough shoulders,but there’s no physical contact any lower down.This one’s reserved for spinster aunts.

The full body

Wrap your arms around each other,touching from the tops of your heads down to your toes,and bump tummies in the middle.Breathe together,snuggle and sigh.This one’s the real deal.

The science hit

When non-sexual touch is neglected,we become belligerent and dejected.But why does touch make us feel  so good?After prolonged touching,the hypothalamic area of the brain,which control the flight or flight response,slows down and your body’s natural euphoria-inducing chemicals – endorphins – soar,while the stress hormone cortisol dips.Massage has extra benefits as it promotes deep muscle relaxation.Neck massage has been shown to reduce depression,improve alertness and help people sleep more soundly.When you’re being touched by your beloved,your mind associates all these good feelings with them,leaving you feeling loved up and secure.If you’re going through difficult time,try to keep a hand or another part of your body in contract with your beloved.It will help you feel united.

I knead you

Hippocrates,the Greek grandfather of medicine,believed daily massage with essential oils was the key to health.We find it unlocks all sorts of sensuous pleasures and possibilities.Massage is a fantastic stress-buster,but it can also excite or invigorate.Before you switch your partner on to massage,switch off your phone.The deeply satisfying sensation is enchanced when the massage oil is heated a little.Immersing a bottle of essential oil in hot water until it reaches body temperature is ideal,but if you haven’t got time,warm some oil in your hands first.Camomile and lavender  are said to be calming,whereas ylang ylang is reportedly an aphrodisiac.Once your partner is relaxed and comfortable,work some oil into his skin.To really bliss your partner out,start with gentle,stroking movements to relax and sooth,before applying gentle pressure in places that feel tense or knotted.Change speed every now and then and try moving your hands in little circles,spreading the oil up to the earlobes and down between the toes.Take care not to miss out elbows or tickle when you massage foot soles.We suggest you leave pummeling and hacking to the pros.