Why can’t some men just dress more (at the risk of sounding dated) mertosexual? Women do it all the time. Make an effort, that is. We underwure our bosom within an inch of its life. We strap up, buckle up and rely on great swathes of Lycra to keep all those loose cottage cheese bits in place. We spend whole wage packets on our looks. And all because we’re dressing to please. We search for the ultimate male bait, something to make them take note, salivate and finally succumb.
But… hello boys? In this world of hunting and gathering, displaying and entrapping, why on earth do men find it is so difficult to successfully get their kit on for girls?
The scenario isn’t that hard to imagine. You’ve been doing double hair flicks and Vanessa Paradis pouts by the coffee machine for months now. Shashaying backwards and forwards gratuitously around the stationery cupboard, and finally Mr. Boss suit (with sensible flat, black brogues, nice dark shoes with good shirts and the occasional but forgivable dodgy tie) walks up to your desk and asks you out. Aaaagghhh! You ring your friends, squeal down the phone, go on a three -day diet, buy a pair of party pants, in fact the whole embarrasssing female “someone fancies me” routine. You shower, shave your legs for the first time in months, crack open a new packet of tights, go for the foxy lipstick. The bell goes, you feel sick but you fling back the door, take a step onto the threshold and there he is , all togged up in his… casuals.
T-shirt, khaki bermudas and running shoes sans socks… there always something mildly horrific and very disappointing about a man in casuals. And let’s face it, once the pinstripe suit myth – that smart corporate image has been shattered then and there on your very own doorstep, there’s very little point in carrying on with the relationship.
Tragically, it seems that dressing to kill or even impress is not up the general male strada. Men, it appears, dress for other men. It’s a boy-on-boy thing. It’s got nothing to do with girls at all. It’s sort of “my leather jackets bigger, better, slicker, faster and more expensive than yours” type of thing.