Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder ( ADHD ) is a condition thought to be caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain that affects the part controlling attention, concentration and impulsivity. This means a child’s behavior can be anything from being ” very dreamy ” or unable to pay attention through to being ” always on the go ” or hyperactive.

One of the most difficult things about parenting a child with ADHD is getting your child to do what you ask. Daily routines, such as getting ready for school or bed and getting homework done, can become battlegrounds.

As a parent, you need to keep im mind, at all times: Your child is not intentionally ignoring, defying, or disobeying yhour instructions.  She is not dumb or lazy either.  As daunting as it can be, it is possible to limit destructive behaviour and instead to instill a sense of self-worth that will help overcome negativity towards life, which is one of the great dangers of the disorder.

Coping At Home

For children with ADHD, it is better to encourage good behaviour and ignore the bad behaviour as much as you can: Here’s how:

Get his attention.  Use his name so he knows you are talking to him and won’t switch off.  Try to maintain eye contact, but don’t force it.

Give simple, specific instructions.  Be clear and positive.  Tell your child what you want him to do, rather than what you don’t, eg “keep your hands in your pockets” instead of “don’t touch things”.  Be specific, eg “stay next to me in the shop”, rather than the vague “be good”.  Keep it brief, or your child will tune out.  Give instructions in a quiet area where there are no distractions.

Reward instead of punish.  Praise good behaviour immmediately (“You brushed your teeth, just like I asked you to!  Thanks so much!”), and give your child some little token that pleases her – a gold star, a funny rubber stamp, or an extra bedtime story.  The reward should be something she can enjoy right away, since kids with ADHD don’t like to wait.

Set boundaries.  Be clear on what is acceptable and what isn’t, eg how much TV he can watch.  Be consistent.

Have clear routines.  Your child will then know what to expect with routine.  Use charts or lists as reminders of events.

Give advance warning when things are going to change.  For example, “we’re going out in three minutes… in one minute… now”, Buzzers and clocks are useful to show that something different is going to happen.

Play with your child.  He will respond to the attention.

Offer choices.  Give two choices while not giving the option for “no”.  For example, do you want to do your homework now or after dinner?

Stay calm.  If you get angry, your child will mirror your emotion.  Use a quiet, calm tone of voice.  Alternatively, count to five, state the rule and then act.

Use timeout to deal with temper tantrums.  Choose a quiet comfortable place to be a “magic carpet”.  Encourage your child to sit there until calmer.

Coping With School

You can help boost your child’s performance at school by:

Communicating with your child’s teacher.  Cultivate a positive relationship with teachers.  Work with the teacher to design a plan to help your child perform to her potential.  Address how to minimise and react to misbehaviour.

Getting your child involved.  Let your child know that you support his teacher.  Clearly outline your expectations and the consequences of misbehaviour.  Talk with your child about how the teacher will let him or her know that a behaviour is becoming inappropriate.

Helping your child organise.  Even young children can learn to use lists, daily planners, or calendars to keep up with homework assignments, tests, and activities.  A young child may need a teacher’s help in writing down assignments.

Getting homework completed can be a problem with children with ADHD.  Tips to tackle include:

• Aske the school for a home-school diary so you know what the homework is.
• Help your child plan the assignment and break it into small chunks.
• Have a homework routine-let him have a break after school, then a set time for homework – don’t force him to cocus for too long.
• Give him a quiet place to do his homework, with good light and no distractions such as music or TV.
• Give him encouragement and take an interest in his work.
• If he tried hard but still didn’t finish, don’t push it too hard – he may find it easier tomorrow.

Children with ADHD have some predictable traits:  They respond to novelty, focus on the present, and need to be physically active.  Parents who are patient, consistent, and creative can help their child pay attention, be less distracted, and complete tasks.